


Bravery

by athena_crikey



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), First Kiss, First Time, Insecurities, M/M, Really more like just post-canon, University AU, more than friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:00:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22062937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athena_crikey/pseuds/athena_crikey
Summary: When Yuu knew him Asahi was constantly accused of being an adult masquerading as a teenager, of being a thug, of being real bad news. Yuu had seen through him the first day they met: Asahi was a fucking puppy dog. Big sweet eyes, hair all over the place, and scared of his own shadow.Well Asahi’s 22 now and even taller, but his eyes are the same melted chocolate, his face the same chiselled silhouette, his hair worn loose and looking damp from the snow and delightfully tousled. Yuu wants very much to tousle it further.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 232





	Bravery

It’s snowing. 

Yuu far prefers the snow at home in Miyagi to the damp flakes they get in Tokyo. It falls soft and silent from the sky to blanket the earth, dusting the bare trees in white and being swiftly cleared off the roads by the municipality. In Miyagi, they _understand_ snow. 

When it snows in Tokyo, it’s just a cluster fuck. Bad driving, people unprepared for the cold and the wet, shops closed due to staff shortages. 

Yuu hadn’t planned to come home for the winter holidays. The team would be practicing while he was gone, getting in more shared experience and improving their skills without him. Plus there were bar crawls planned for most nights, and he’d already signed up for two all-you-can-drink parties. 

Then his little brother got sick. Like Yuu, Kenta has always been small. Unlike Yuu, he’s frail with a weak immune system, prone to pneumonia and bronchitis. With both his parents working, his mother had asked him to come home for a few days. So he had withdrawn from the parties, cleaned the half-eaten food out of his dorm room and stuffed some shirts in a bag, and locked the place up. 

And now here he is up in Miyagi trying not to burn water or flood the laundry room while washing towels. Kenta sleeps most of the time, and plays his DS when awake – not much fun to be had there. Yuu is bored as hell; he goes outside and shovels the driveway, then makes snowmen in the piled-up snow. He builds a whole family, rolling the balls with his mitted hands and easily stacking them. He was always wiry in high-school; since going to university he’s added a little extra bulk. It helps take some of the edge off diving into the floorboards. 

But the front yard is small and soon there’s no more snow to fool around with, and his clothes are wet and cold anyway. He goes inside and checks on Kenta – sleeping – then changes into a new set of clothes. He could watch a movie, but he took all his action DVDs with him to Tokyo and his parents only have rom-coms (gross) and romances (puke). He decides instead to go for a walk. 

Although it’s snowing it’s not that cold, only a few degrees below zero, and Yuu wears a light jacket and jeans. He doesn’t have any goal in mind when he sets out, but by force of habit he finds himself following the beaten path to Karasuno High. 

As he comes within sight of the school’s gates he feels his heart twisting. Karasuno was home to some of the best times in his life – and some of the worst. The team he had been a part of here will always be special to him, his teammates his pride and joy. He still remembers returning after winning the Prefectural Qualifiers, remembers the whole school being there waiting to congratulate them like returning heroes. 

And he still remembers the day the third years graduated, leaving them behind and shattering the perfection they had created in nine short months. He can still taste the tears in his throat – losing Daichi and Suga had been hard. Losing Asahi? 

Yuu shakes his head hard and heads down the road towards the school. The lights are on in the gym.

  
***

It’s the volleyball club, of course. They’re playing a practice match, red against white, with their manager keeping score. He doesn’t recognize any of them; he’s been away at university for three years and the students have turned over completely.

He stands outside as the snow falls on his shoulders and hood, watching them. Compared to university games the standard is pretty tame – the serves are practiced but not polished, the spikes hard but not difficult to block. They’ll have a long way to go if they want to reach Nationals next year. 

Yuu is considering going in and asking if they would let him play a few sets – he can easily run home and get something to wear – when he hears footsteps behind him. 

He turns, expecting a player returning from the bathroom or an errand, or perhaps a teacher coming by to check on the students. 

He looks up, and comes face-to-face with Asahi. 

When Yuu knew him Asahi was constantly accused of being an adult masquerading as a teenager, of being a thug, of being real bad news. Yuu had seen through him the first day they met: Asahi was a fucking puppy dog. Big sweet eyes, hair all over the place, and scared of his own shadow. 

Well Asahi’s 22 now and even taller, but his eyes are the same melted chocolate, his face the same chiselled silhouette, his hair worn loose and looking damp from the snow and delightfully tousled. Yuu wants very much to tousle it further. 

“Asahi!” He beams as bright as he can, puts every goddamn ounce of sincerity he has into his smile, because the last thing he needs is for Asahi to see through him. To see the heart that he broke four years ago. 

Asahi blinks, then raises a hand in greeting. “Noya, I thought you were at Chuo!” 

As per usual, Yuu launches into conversation without pausing to think. “I am. I mean – not right now. Just during the semester. Kenta’s sick, so I came home. Wait – how did you know I’m at Chuo?”

“I follow Tanaka’s twitter; he mentions you now and again. Congrats man – they’re one of the best.”

“I know. I’m lucky; my grades are shit, but if I keep up the volleyball I think I’ll get through. You – what are you doing?” He swallows awkwardly part of the way through and his words come out broken. But Asahi doesn’t seem to notice. 

“Design work, actually. Clothes.”

“And volleyball?”

“I play on a community team. I was never special enough for a scholarship – there were plenty of wing spikers bigger and stronger than me.”

“Of course you’re special!” snaps Yuu, incensed. “You were our ace!”

Asahi drags a foot through the snow, eyes cast downwards. “Well, yeah, but it was just for a year in high school, and…”

“And we went to Nationals, didn’t we?” demands Yuu, fingers clenched. 

“And then it was over, and I was just another sports-obsessed teenager.” 

_And then you left, and never came back_ , thinks Yuu. 

“You’re angry,” Asahi says, looking at him.

“You had a lot of potential.”

“Never as much as you. And… I was never as brave.”

“Of course I’m brave – I’m a libero. But I would have backed you up, Asahi! Your grades were good, your club record was good, your looks –” 

“Were those of a 45 year-old man,” interrupts Asahi, smiling.

“ _Were great!_ ” retorts Yuu, shoulders stiff. 

“Noya…” Asahi runs a hand through his hair, embarrassed. “It doesn’t matter. I’m happy with what I’m doing. Really.”

Yuu takes a breath. Tries to think straight – to separate fact from emotion. Something he’s never been good at. “You’re really happy?”

“Yep. I’m working at a small fashion house; some of my stuff has been in magazines.”

Yuu lights up. “Wow! Really?”

Asahi smiles. “Yep. I’ve got some pictures… but maybe we should go inside. It’s cold, isn’t it?”

Yuu suddenly realises that the hems of his jeans have started to ice up, that his fingers are freezing. “Right. Yeah. Good idea. Hey – why don’t we get dinner?”

“Can you? What about Kenta?”

“I’ll stop by and make sure he’s okay. Meet you in 30 at Ichi-ya?”

“It’s a date.”

Yuu swallows thickly, and slaps a smile on his face. “Great!” He turns and runs off towards home before Asahi can see it slip off.

  
***

At home Yuu heats up some dinner for Kenta and changes into yet another set of clean clothes – his last one. He puts the other two in the wash and prays for the best, then stops in the bathroom to consider himself.

He hasn’t put on much height in the four years since he last saw Asahi. A little buffer, a little wider in the shoulders, but otherwise mostly unchanged. Same intense eyes, same diminutive nose. 

He’s always known that Asahi liked and respected him. But he’s also always known that Asahi never understood what was in Yuu’s heart. The only secret Yuu has ever kept – the one fear he still allows himself. 

Yuu sighs, slicks some gel into his hair to reinvigorate it, and goes to put on his coat.

  
***

Ichi-ya is a small sushi place in town. It had been too pricey for their meagre pocket money in high school; now Yuu smiles to think of all the meat buns they ate instead because they were too stingy to shill out.

There are only a few wooden tables in the cramped space, the menu listed on wooden slats on the wall. Asahi is already there sitting in the corner, his coat and scarf hanging on the back of his chair. Yuu shucks off his own coat as he comes in and joins him. 

“How’s Kenta?”

“He’s alright. It’s bronchitis this time. He’s lucky at least that it’s winter break – he’s not missing any school. Still, sucks to be sick over holidays.”

Asahi nods. “It was good of you to come home.”

“Eh; it was nothing. And anyway, why are you here?”

“My sister’s getting married next month; she asked me to come home for a party.”

“Hey, congrats man. That’s awesome.”

Asahi ducks his head. “Thanks.”

“Why’re you embarrassed – you’re not the one getting married!” Yuu thumps the table, laughing, which attracts the waitress. He orders two beers without waiting to consult Asahi, and she hurries away. “You said you had some pics?”

“Oh, right.” Asahi takes out his phone and thumbs through the gallery to find his place. “Here.”

They’re professional shots of models wearing slightly avant-garde street clothes. The models are all male, many of them small and slender. The clothes hug their bodies, accentuating their forms. The clothes are well-designed, well made, and sexy. “Geez, Asahi, this is nice stuff. I never knew you were into clothes.”

“Well, no one else was, and it seemed boring to talk about it.”

Yuu hands back the phone. “We would’ve listened,” he says.

“Yes, but you wouldn’t have been interested,” replies Asahi. Yuu wants to reply, but there’s nothing he can say to that. And in any case, that’s when the beer arrives.

  
***

They drink and eat and reminisce. About the good times – “The look on Ushijima’s face when Shouyou beat him!” and the bad times – “Fuck Date High, man.” They talk about what happened to the rest of the team, to Shimizu and Ukai, to Takeda.

But even three beers in Yuu is aware that all they have to discuss is the past – and that’s passed. Asahi is friendly and polite as always, but he’s not sharing much about his life and it’s making Yuu antsy. 

Then the conversation switches to their personal lives, and Yuu suddenly feels very guarded. “Yeah, no girlfriend. I dunno, the girls just aren’t interested. I guess I’m a lot to take in,” he says with a self-depreciating laugh. “What about you?”

“Well actually… I know I never told you… never told anyone … but really…” Asahi trails off, words drowned out by a large gulp of beer.

Yuu frowns “What? Spit it out.”

“I came out, Noya. Last year.”

“Came out as in… came out?”

Asahi swallows and nods, face white. “That’s right. Just to the people close to me, really, but it’s not a secret.”

Yuu doesn’t have words for the way he feels. It’s some weird combination of relief and anxiety and searing gratitude. “Holy shit, man, that’s great!” Then it hits him: “Wait, so, do you have a boyfriend?” All of a sudden he’s on edge again, feels like he’s sitting on a bed of knives. 

Asahi smiles, clearly relieved by Yuu’s reaction. “No. I don’t know, no one wants a 6’4” 21 year-old who looks like he’s 45 for some reason,” he says. 

“That’s ‘cause they’re fucking blind, Asahi,” replies Yuu, very seriously. “I mean, you’re good looking, and smart, and you’ve got a heart the size of a goddamn elephant’s.”

“Thanks Noya. I mean it.”

“And hey, you’ve grown. Back in high school you’d’ve been trying to dig your way out from under that compliment!”

Asahi laughs. “I still am, inside. But you’re right: I’m trying to be a little more proud.”

“You’ve got a lot to be proud of.” Yuu drains his glass and calls for another.

  
***

Yuu doesn’t want this night to end. They’ve finished the sushi, and he can tell Asahi’s on his last legs when it comes to the beer – only 5 glasses in, what a light-weight. Asahi’s shared his secret with Yuu, but Yuu’s still holding back. Still afraid – maybe even more afraid now.

But if he doesn’t say anything Asahi will leave, and who knows when they’ll see each other again? _If_ they’ll see each other again?

“Asahi,” he declares, pushing himself up with both hands splayed on the table, staring right into those liquid eyes, “it’s fucking good to see you again. But I still can’t figure it out: why’d you just disappear. You read the other guys’ twitters and ‘grams, hell, you even talk to Daichi and Suga-san. But you just walked out. On me.” The words finish in a whisper, Yuu fighting to keep his eyes on Asahi. “And I mean, I get it. You had different plans. A new life. But… aren’t we friends?”

“Noya.” Asahi swallows. “It’s – it’s because we’re friends that I had to go.”

Yuu frowns, fingers curling into fists. “How the hell does that make sense?”

“Because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. Because I’ve always been a coward. Because I would rather run than risk breaking everything.”

“You’re still not making any sense.”

“Noya, you and Tanaka spent high school watching Shimizu. I spent it watching you.” 

Yuu blinks. “But –”

“I couldn’t say anything – you obviously didn’t feel the same. And if we stayed in touch… I couldn’t keep that secret forever. I wanted to remember you as my best friend, not a broken relationship that I screwed up.”

“That,” declares Yuu, incensed, “is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You didn’t want to break anything? When you left and didn’t look back it broke my fucking heart, Asahi.”

“Noya…”

“You want to know why there’s no girlfriend? Why there’s no one else? Because there’s only you.” He’s shaking now, halfway between terrified and furious, spilling all his secrets over a table covered in empty beer glasses and soy-sauce laced plates. “There’s only you, Asahi,” he says again, quieter. 

Asahi is sitting staring at him, looking stunned. “But… Shimizu…”

“She was beautiful and elegant and perfect – I wanted to put her on a pedestal and worship her. You, I wanted to fuck,” he says, taking care to speak plainly in case Asahi isn’t understanding him. 

“I – you – what?”

“Didn’t hear me?” Yuu smiles predatorily. “I wanted to fuck you. I still do.” 

Asahi scrambles in his pocket for his wallet. “I think we should go now.”

Yuu feels disappointment swelling in him. “Asahi…”

“I’m staying in a hotel room – my brother-in-law is in my old room. You’re coming, right?”

Like frost after sunrise, Yuu’s disappointment melts. “Damn straight!”

  
***

It’s a short walk to the hotel, but Yuu can’t wait. He pushes Asahi up against a lamp post, the snow floating softly down around him, and kisses him.

It’s everything he had imagined – the angle, the warm wetness of Asahi’s mouth, the hesitancy soon replaced by ardour. All around them the world is silent, sound muffled by the foot of snow on the ground. Asahi’s hands are on his face, his neck, in his hair – they’re so big, so strong, and they make him want. He slips his hands up under Asahi’s coat, feels the toned abs and the firm chest he admired so many times in high school. 

“Your hands are cold,” says Asahi, breaking the kiss with a smile. 

“You’re not,” replies Yuu. “C’mon, hurry it up.” He tugs Asahi forward, breaking into a run; the former wing spiker trails after him, laughing. “I’m not fucking Rudolph; why am I leading the way here?” 

The hotel is small and cheap, although perfectly clean and more spacious than a Tokyo room would have been. Asahi takes the lead and brings them up to the third floor, unlocking the door and letting Yuu in. 

There’s a bed and a desk and a TV – Yuu doesn’t notice anything else because Asahi’s pushing him up against the wall, hooking his hands beneath Yuu’s thighs and boosting him up so Yuu can wrap his legs around his waist. With no height difference kissing is much easier; with Asahi’s hips grinding against his, Yuu can feel himself getting hard shockingly fast. 

Asahi tastes of beer and soy sauce, but beneath that of old memories and new beginnings. Yuu twists his hands in that ridiculous mane of hair, tousling it just as he wanted to earlier in the afternoon. Asahi’s hands are warm on his thighs; now they run up higher, cupping his ass through his jeans, the fabric too thick to let much sensation through. 

“Fuck it, take ‘em off,” he growls, and Asahi laughs. 

“I can’t, holding you like this.”

Yuu growls and breaks free, kicking off his shoes and shucking his jeans off after them. Then he’s clambering back up onto Asahi, who shoves him up against the wall again and this time kneads his strong fingers into Yuu’s ass through the light cotton of his boxers. “Fuck, that feels _fan-mph._ ” Asahi presses another kiss to his mouth, ending his sentence and his train of thought in one go. His cock is hard now, rubbing repeatedly against Asahi’s stomach, the sensation of Asahi kneading his ass sending jolts of arousal straight to it. He wants Asashi’s fingers inside him, wants _Asahi_ inside him. 

“More,” he demands, breaking away from the kiss. 

“Noya…”

“Fucking come on,” urges Yuu, dropping himself lower, his legs wrapped now around Asahi’s ass, his cock straining against Asahi’s. The former wing spiker moans, canting forward and pressing Yuu against the wall as he ruts up against him. Yuu throws his head back, Asahi pressing open-mouthed kisses against his throat, his tongue hot and wet against Yuu’s skin. He sucks lightly; Yuu wonders what it would be like to have that mouth on his dick. “Since when,” he pants, “were you such a tease.”

“What do you want?”

“I want your fingers inside me.”

Asahi looks at him, his eyes dark with hunger. “Wait here.” Abruptly he lets Yuu down and ducks into the bathroom. He’s back a moment later with a small bottle of lube in his hand; he hardly has a chance to open it before Yuu’s back on him, grinding their hips together. 

Breathing hard, Asahi slides his hand into Yuu’s boxers and rubs slick up against his entrance. His fingers are hot, his free hand on Yuu’s hip. 

“Come on already.” Yuu means it to be an order, but it comes out as a plea. Asahi groans and slips a finger up inside him. 

It feels far fatter than his own finger ever has, big and strong and insistent, pushing Yuu open with a heated rhythm. He closes his eyes and concentrates on the feeling of Asahi fucking him with his finger, on the pressure, the build of intensity. Then comes the second finger.

Yuu takes in a sharp breath. 

“Noya?”

“Don’t stop,” he hisses, arching his back, lip caught between his teeth. He wonders how he looks to Asahi right now – arched into his fingers, eyes closed tight with ecstasy. Asahi starts scissoring his fingers open and Yuu moans, twisting his hips hungrily against Asahi’s, his cock aching for release. 

Asahi wraps his arm around Yuu and carries him easily over to the bed where he puts him down and pulls off his boxers, taking the moment to shove his own pants and boxers out of the way. Asahi’s cock is thick and swollen, pre-cum leaking from the top. 

“Gods, you’re fucking gorgeous,” says Yuu, and he sees Asahi blush. He’s got a condom in his hand; he rips open the package and thumbs it down over his cock. Then he’s back on the bed with Yuu, and there are three fingers in his ass. Three feels incredibly intense – feels _enormous_. He stares at the ceiling and tries to concentrate on not coming, on keeping his begging cock in control. He’s so hungry for this, for Asahi. “I’ve been waiting _so fucking long_ for this,” he pants. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Just… nnh … finish it.”

Asahi slides his fingers out and, hands on Yuu’s hips, lines his cock up against Yuu’s entrance. The head of his cock is thicker than his fingers, presses tight on Yuu’s ass. Asahi’s muttering something under his breath – _Yuu, Yuu, Yuu._

Then he’s in, pushing the whole length of him up inside Yuu and it feels _amazing_. Yuu wants to cry, wants to beg, but his cock is telling him he doesn’t have long so he hooks his legs up over Asahi’s sides and slams his hips down. Yuu sees stars, vaguely hearing Asahi swear somewhere in the background, and does it again. He’s so full, so complete, Asahi filling him up and digging slick fingers into his ass. His cock is begging for attention.

“Touch me. _Now_.”

An instant later Asahi’s slick hand is on his cock – his huge, hot, powerful hand. It takes hold of him, tight and insistent, stroking him from tip to root and back again, the heel of Asahi’s palm rutting over his balls. Yuu is flooded with arousal, with ecstasy, his ass being pounded and his cock being stroked. 

He throws his head back and comes with a gruff cry, hips slamming into Asahi. It feels better than any orgasm he’s ever had, feels magnificent, feels complete. 

He finishes just in time to feel Asahi tumble off the edge after him, pounding into him with a vague moan. 

Finished, hot and sweaty, they lie there together, still intertwined. After a few more moments Asahi pulls out and takes off the rubber, tying it off and chucking it into the garbage can. He rolls over and throws an arm over Yuu, pressing his forehead against the crown of Yuu’s head. 

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“I told you, don’t apologize. That was fan-fucking-tastic.”

“I never should have walked out. We should have kept in touch. I should have been braver.”

“Well, now you have me to teach you how to be brave, don’t you?” He looks up at Asahi. 

The former wing spiker nods. “I definitely do.”

END


End file.
